Sex and the (Slightly) Older Woman, Pt.6

The Single Adult Male (SAM) is far more fickle than the Resilient Adolescent Male (RAM) and the Predictable Marital Male (PMM). He can perform marvels,


but cower at the slightest procedural snag. He (like all men, I guess) requires extensive praise both in anticipation of, and subsequent to, his bedroom debut.

Men are just as nervous and insecure as women. Help a guy out. Tell him all the things you’d like to hear.  “You are fabulous….I’ve never felt anything like it…You make me feel like a queen” (well, you might not want to hear that.)
Tips for men:

The (slightly) older woman is a delicate creature; shy but responsive, brazen but terrified. She is a virtual virgin, and the lucky potential lover will experience a “wow.”
“Two consenting adults sharing the pleasure of each other’s bodies.” That may be what a man experiences, and what the woman’s claims, but she needs a lot of post performance encouragement, or she, like the frustrated SAM, could disappear forever.

No matter WHAT she says, any sexual sharing must be followed with repeated praise and reassurance.  A LOT of repeated praise and assurance. Even if there is no intention of a repeat performance, one must be alluded to until you can escape the country. Even if, Sir, you have nothing nice to say – MAN UP and tell her what a delightful experience you had with her, and how lucky the world is that she exists, and even if you are not worthy of her slightest attention, you are a better man for the time spent with her.  Now, how to extricate yourself from this web she requires….

Women of a certain age have erogenous zones – and they are even more convenient than those of the girls you knew in college. The traditional spots may have succumbed to gravity or misuse. But hands, despite their function as the mirror of her labors, are sensitive and safe. Heart rate can be increased exponentially with repeated stroking of the open palm (see Memoirs of a Geisha training episodes). If the feet are maintained they must be praised.  Keeping them clean and neat is no small task at our age, and should be appreciated.  The same is true of the hair. Although if the arrangement is ornate please keep your admiration verbal. Complementing wardrobe, accessories, and aroma is also recommended.  But that’s it!  We’re so easy!
The mantra I use to survive all of these ridiculous situations is “he is just as nervous as I am.”

I wish I understood if this were even remotely true.

More soon.

1 Comment

  1. It is, Anonymous, true. But false claims regarding body parts and performance can send a girl packing like a barber trying an ill-advised comb-over. Fired. Onto reality.

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