Sex and the (Slightly) Older Woman

One woman’s quest for mental health, hope, and happiness.

   So I have gotten to the point at which friends and family have talked me into trying to find a new and better guy. Do they suppose there was only one bad choice out there for me?

 I’ll probably walk into the same mess all over again, or something even worse. And do they think there are flocks of sane, kind and thoughtful men just waiting to be plucked from the trees? Well, there are not. And even if there were, I like to be alone most of the time.

But I have been reared to heed advice, and theoretically it does sound kind of nice to get out… So, where to start? The most accessible choices are the internet dating sites. Great – I spew all sorts of very personal information into the world wide web, and learn after a few days nobody reads – just looks at the pictures (just KNEW that would happen).

Then the canned questions and emails were supposed to start coming in. I couldn’t understand the pitiful haul. I am an attractive woman, who is only looking for someone to have fun with. Is that so wrong? But I only heard from men with bad false teeth, odd facial hair (a Hitler mustache?) or a passion for amphibians. And trust me, the ones who look vaguely appealing are harboring deep, dark secrets that will only be discovered face to face. Super. Probably as he walks me to my car, in a dark parking lot.

I tried to respond politely and it only got worse so I took a deep breath and started searching for someone who struck my fancy. Hmm…building a dinosaur from chicken bones. That sounds interesting. Loves the beach? Me too! OK. Log in and send a sweet and tentative hello.

And what happens? Nothing – or even worse “Not interested.” But in a way this is a blessing. Because the idea of arranging and executing a face-to-face is a momentous and terrifying task.

But I hope sharing this undertaking helps my loving friends and family believe that I am taking care of myself, and I hope I’ll find new and interesting friends. Making this effort has reminded me of the girl I was, and shown me what a wimp  I am today.


Next week: how to make the most of a meeting with someone who IN NO WAY resembles his photo or profile.


  1. Ah yes, and so it goes for both sexes who are (slightly) older. You think it is hard as a straight woman or man … try it in the gay community where old age has triple-points off. But it’s fun to read of your travails. The best thing in life is not to take yourself … or your date … too seriously.

  2. geeks need love too…sometimes they’ll surprise you! At least you haven’t experienced the WoW crowd yet…;D8)

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